My sister try to know if I have any potential boyfriend, who he was and what he does for a living.
I told her that I have but I’m not disclosing anything to anybody.
“Hope you’re not dating that good for nothing teacher?
My elder sister asked getting furious.
“Bimpe, there is nothing wrong if I decided to date a teacher or palmwine tapper. Is my choice after all but I never said I was dating anyone. You of all people should know that what matters most is the content in a man, his attitude, his way of living…is he kind, is he a man who has integrity and God fearing, is he…”
“Please, please spare me all this lectures Sade” my sister, Bimpe cut in.
“… for your information the content in his pocket should matter most. I will rather cry in a Benz than pretend to laugh in 504 type of car. It seems you like to suffer… you have time now to start planning what you want out of a man. Quit acting like you don’t like the good thing of life. You’re in school now and many men will be coming your way. You’re a fine girl and you know book small. This things are your tools to pin down a well to do man. They’re your bullet, just target right and shoot your shot…”
I was silently staring at her. Her words were actually getting into my head and she probably meant well and didn’t want me to suffer.
“… you know that you always disappoint Mum and Dad. They got fed up at a time and left you. Well, you found your way back by getting admission into the university unexpectedly, that’s the goal and that gave you an edge again and they gradually started noticing your existence. Now, is up-to you to maintain it or disappoint them again with your choice of a man. If you really want to make them happy, get their full attention and love tooe then make sure you don’t date or move with any church rat, move with an elephant. Big guys that can get you anything you want and also for your family…”
I told her that I have heard and will think it through.
“There’s nothing to think through Sade, this is just an advise, I’m just telling you the realistic. The pure truth that nobody else will tell you. Is because you’re my sister that I’m doing this. Although you can be very annoying, I suppose to charge you for this kind of advice that I’m giving you for free, if is another person I wouldn’t have cared. So whenever you meet a well to do Bobo, that will be payment enough, I can freely bill the guy and get my payment. All this talk is energy, strength is leaving my body like this but I will get refill when you introduce fine boy with plenty content in his pocket…”
I began to laugh at the last part.
That night, I kept thinking of the whole thing.
I was about entering my second year in school and Ayomide has been there for me.
He haven’t offended me or hurt me in anyway. He maintain his stand with God as it get deeper everyday.
He contribute in his own little way and does not allow anything to bother me.
He prays for me constantly, he makes me feel like I truly matter most and also encourage me to seek God with all diligence.
I enjoy when he talks to me about God, I like it when break down a difficult mathematics or any formula for me.
He was very brilliant and outspoken too.
In all of this things I still see what is happening around me in school.
Each time Bimpe’s word came to play in my head
Some of the lady’s in school jump into their boyfriend’s car and they take them out.
They wear the latest things are always looking shiny.
They flash the money they got from their men and even the big gadgets.
I can see all of this things and sometime wish for them.
I want to prove to my parents and my sister that I have high taste and can’t settle for less.
There is something else Bimpe use to say that always flash through my head.
“That your teacher friend will start feeling entitled because he helped you with your admission. He will start feeling like he’s the only one that has help somebody before. Don’t allow him pin you down because of that. If he wants a refund for the little help he rendered he should let you know so that we will look for a way and get it to him. That’s how poverty stricken people think. Exactly what’s he’s doing… asking you out, wanting to date you and if you refused they will remind you about everything they did for you, thereby hanging this guilt slate around your neck and leaving you with no choice than to come pleasing them. They are always looking for a pay back and will continue to remind you of their old good deed through their actions, words and attitude. A rich guy does not count on all this things. Infact they hardly even remember. After helping you they move on with their lives. You don’t owe them anything and they will never remind you or want a reward for their good deed. That’s the huge difference so becareful not to end up with a man because of guilt. You may not even like him deep down but want to please him because that’s what he’s requesting from you. Dating such a guy will brings lots of regrets. I have given you enough reason why dating a wealthy guy is far better than poor guys. Your teacher friend is as poor as a church rat, you don’t need such a person around you. Please don’t allow him to guilt trap you…”
Bimpe made lots of Sense but I have try to check it through, Ayo is not like that.
He didn’t force me into the relationship or use the fact he was nice to me to make me date him.
Ayomide wouldn’t have still mind or stop helping me even if I refused to date him.
He is not like the kind of man Bimpe was describing.
Ayo is really different and if she get to know him she will definitely love him but again that will never happen.
After hearing all of this things from Bimpe, I started having a cold feet towards Ayo.
I started giving Ayo this cold attitude and he kept calling and asking if he did anything wrong.
I told him that I needed to concentrate in my studies and don’t want any distraction.
He didn’t argue, rather he said no problem.
That anytime I feel like talking that he was always available.
Bimpe was really messing with my head and I’m letting her do that unknowingly.
Maybe my parents has a hand in it. They probably asked Bimpe to try everything possible to convince me so that I will stop seeing Ayo.
I was suspecting that.
She was putting different ideas in my mind that I have never thought of before, to the extent I was already admiring the flashy girls in school and their ways of life which I can’t really relate to.
I was allowing her to poison my mind towards Ayo who has done nothing wrong but always good to me.
I’m already in my second year and Ayo haven’t asked me to come spend a night or wanting to sleep with me.
He believes in purity and right standing with God.
My sister, my parents may not agree with my choice. They have advised me to go for a higher classy men and I agreed to do so just to please them but Ayo is classy enough for me and I wouldn’t loose a good man because my family detest him just because he does not have money to throw around.
Beside I was only dating him, he wasn’t asking me to marry him so why won’t my people let me be.
I called Ayo and apologize for my ill behavior and we continued our relationship.
Bimpe still want to know the rich guy in my Life, she thought I have dump Ayo long time ago.
I kept protecting my diamond and refused to expose him to any danger.
As I was about entering my 3rd year in the university when Ayo first proposed.
He took me off guard, I was speechless.
That very day, Ayo took me out on a church youth program after which we decided to hang out.
While we were there, he proposed to me.
Holding my hands across the table and asking me to marry him.
I haven’t even gotten the news of dating him across to my family.
They don’t even know that I was still moving with him.
How do I tell them that Ayo was asking me to marry him
They will finally disown me.
I couldn’t say yes or no to his proposal
I asked him to give me time let me think and pray about It first.
I wasn’t praying about anything, I only wanted to dismissed him.
He agreed and said I should take my time.
I went back home not knowing what to do.
What exactly should I do, agree to marry Ayo and face the consequences at home or say no to his proposal for the respect and love I still have for my family.
I want to make them proud and happy but settling down with Ayo will bring lots of trouble and I wasn’t ready for that.
But I still can’t afford to loose Ayo because he is a special Being and I truly love him but my family comes first for me. I can’t agree to marry him and disobey my family.
I also don’t want to see him hurt.
I was thrown into a confused state.
I don’t know what to do as it stands now.
To Be Continued…
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