[STORY] SADE’S HEART TALE (Episode 18)

Episode 18.

Before I was wheeled into the theatre Ayomide kept reassuring me that nothing will happen to me or the baby.
He said he was going to go home with both of us and none will be missing.

He said God can not bless with the right hand and curse with the left. He repeatedly said that the blessings of the Lord makes rich and never add sorrow, so in our blessings there will never be any sorrow added to it.

Scan Said that we will be having a baby girl, nothing must happen to my precious daughter. Oh God, I wish to give her all the love my mother couldn’t give me but in my absence I know certainly that Ayomide will fill in perfectly. There is no doubt that he will be a great Dad to our girl.

Amidst tears, I asked him to listen to me, I told Ayo that if it is ever up-to him to save any of us, he should please save the baby’s life and let me go. I have had enough of this crazy world and maybe is time to go and rest.
Maybe this was my punishment for foolishly walking on the wrong path, seeking help from mare men instead of waiting and looking up to God.

I deserve it, God can choose to punish me in anyway he dim fit.

I was speaking through pain that has already taken over my body. Every word that comes out from my mouth is like trying to use straw to draw out my remaining strength.
I was crying and wish there could be another chance for me to live to nurse my baby and watch her grow, guide and teach my child the ways of the Lord and to always be there for her in every stage of her life, the attention my mother couldn’t give me I will pour it all out without holding anything back.
Loving her with all my heart and rededicating my life to the master of the universal.
But with the way I was feeling, I know deep down that my time maybe short and if I happen to make it, my baby will have to go and I will never be able to live without my baby.
What exactly am I supposed to live for? Ten years of waiting and finally have the one thing that we have gone through alot for only for it to be taken from us.

I don’t know how to survive or move ahead without my baby.
I can’t, I refused to accept it.

It will be better I die and my baby survive atleast, she will have the happy life that I couldn’t get.

I begged Ayomide that he should please not allow our little one to go, I was ready to go in her place.
She needs to live and nothing must happen to her

Ayomide took my hands and asked me to stop talking nonsense.
He asked me to try and have faith and stop speaking out of fear.

He asked me to promise him that I will proclaim live to every fiber of my body and also that of the baby.
He asked me to rebuke fear and replace it with faith instead. He asked me to repeatedly say “I will not die, my baby will not die instead we will live to declare the goodness of God in the land of the living..”

I was wheeled inside the theater, Ayomide was not allowed in there so he has to stay outside.
I can hear him shouting ” go in there and bring forth our child Sade, because we’re all going home together. I will never bury any of you and neither will any harm come to you or our baby. I will be outside here praying and waiting for you Sade…”

He sounded like he was holding back from crying.
I can sense his struggle, he does not want me to see his tears.

I was getting weaker, I watched the doctor set out the scary looking scissors of different sizes, the shapeless knives, razor blades and shaving sticks which was used to shave me up first before the major work starts.
I beckoned on the doctor, he bent his ear to my mouth. I whispered gently to his ear that he should try and save my baby’s life by all cause.
My baby should live in my place. I’m very ready to go but nothing should happen to my daughter.
He didn’t say anything, he only gave me a nod as he pat me gently on the shoulder.

I lay there helplessly ready to be slaughtered like a lamb for sacrifice.

My only request to God which i kept saying in my heart because I no longer have the strength to speak it out, I only want my baby girl to survive all of this.

I wish God will not look at my sins and grant me this desire. “I will not die, my baby will also live to declare goods goodness in the land of the living” i managed to say within me but fear took hold of me again.

whatever thing God pleases to do with me, is totally fine by me, I can never oppose.

I was really tired to care about what the doctors were really doing or saying.

The doctor was trying to motivate or encourage me but I was not really listening as my eyes began closing up

It was like a black out, i went off totally.
I was in a dreamless land and didn’t know what was going on.
Something kept echoing in my ear, is not Ayomide. It was a very strong echo in the darkness. “Be still, let not your heart be troubled, I am here..”

If it’s not Ayomide then who can sound that caring with so much assurance and every of his words made me feel at peace.

I don’t know how long was the black out but when I opened my eyes I saw Ayomide sitting on a chair beside the bed. He placed his head on his palm as he bent over.
At first I thought he was sleeping, but on a closer look it seems he was either crying or mourning, maybe even praying as usual.
Wait, mourning for who? Hey, my baby… where’s my baby?
I begged them, I remember I told the doctor and even Ayomide that he should let me go but nothing must happen to my baby.
Why will they do this, why didn’t they save my baby’s life? Why will they let this happen?
Oh God, my baby. The worst is knowing that I’m a mother but to a dead baby.
I feel so useless being alive, I don’t deserve to live while my baby is gone.
I’m feeling a sensation pain, I guess is from the stitches below my abdomen.

I shut my eyes and allow the tears to roll down. I was sobbing quietly and I know Ayomide no matter how he try to hide it, he must be feeling disappointed in me and in God whom he so much believed in.
I also believe but no matter how he try to struck me I won’t stop trusting him.

Just then Ayomide raised his head and looked up at me.
He immediately stood up and came to my bedside with a tired eyes that immediately lit up as he placed a hand on my arm.

“Thank you Jesus, you’re awake and well… God alone be praise”

“I’m sorry Ayo, I’m really sorry. You don’t deserve any of this and I wish you had listened to me and do as I say before I was wheeled in. I know you try to hide your disappointment and make me feel good, you don’t need to do that. Scream at me, shout and hate me Ayo. I deserve it all but when you keep acting like all is well, I hurt more. I wanted to save our little girl, I begged the doctor to take me so that she can live but instead they took her and make me live, now I feel so miserable and watching you sit there in regrets probably hating God.. I wish i..”

Ayo put a finger on my lips. “What are you talking about? I’m happy that we can finally go home since you’re awake. How’re you feeling? Our little girl has your eyes and cheeks but only my nose..”
He began to laugh, I became very confused.

“You saw her body.. can I see it too please or is it already too late for me to have a glimpse of our girl? Have she being buri…”

I suddenly pause as Ayomide move over to my right corner and moved a baby’s cot closer to me.
I was speechless as I quickly peep insides, there lay my little adorable girl sleeping so peacefully.

“She is alive? wait Ayo… you mean our girl also made it? She is alive and I’m also alive right? I don’t understand… how?

“God did it, we all made it and I’m the happiest man alive right now. Only God deserve this praise. You’re alive and our girl is sound and healthy… there’s no impossiblity with God..I told you.”

I was speechless. I remembered the echo in the darkness telling me to be still and know that he is God.

Indeed, this can only be God.
I couldn’t stop staring at our little girl as I began to count seconds, waiting for her to wake up, to open her eyes.

A nurse came in to check me, she asked me if I feel fit enough to breastfeed, I quickly said yes.

I try to sit up quickly but I felt a pinch of sharp pain from the stitches below my abdomen.
She helped me slowly before placing the baby in my arms.

Oh God, it feels so good. The feeling is everything.
As I placed the breast in her mouth, she quickly began to suckle on with her tiny mouth.

Oh my God, is this a dream? I’m actually breastfeeding my own child.

I don’t know the right word to use to qualify the kind of joy that took all over me.
I kept muttering”thank you so much, thank you Jesus for this privilege..”

It was the next day Ayomide took us home and just like he said before I went into the theater for the CS, we went home complete as a family and with a heart filled with so much joy.
None of us were missing.
To Be Continued… . . .