[STORY] LIVING WITH MY GRANDMA (Episode 14)

Episode 14.

After I realized I had been offered admission to study the course of my choice, I was steadily active in the aspirant group chat. I didn’t want to miss out on any important information relating to the clearance and every other registration process.

A week later, I was beginning to notice some changes in my body. I felt tired regularly, my boobs hurt and I was nauseous and 3 days late for my period. It was strange. I never felt that way before and my instincts insisted I was expecting a baby!!! But I quickly debunked that thought immediately. How could it be now that I have been offered admission?

Another thing that made me feel I had been knocked up was the unignorable urge to pee. Like, I was the queen of holding my urge to use the restroom. I always prefer to hold it in. But when I tried many times, I found out I couldn’t do that anymore. I always rush to the bathroom and pee.

Grandma seemed to notice the changes too, but I told her I was sick. I knew if I had delayed more and didn’t act fast, and peradventure it turned out I was pregnant, she would know after some days. So, I opened us to Darlington. I told him about the changes I had been noticing lately. He asked if Meska and I did anything, I didn’t lie, I said yes. He shook his head, disappointed. I didn’t care. I only needed to do something very urgent before it becomes obvious if perhaps my assumptions were true.

Darlington agreed to assist. Truth be told, he was literally like my bestie. My partner in crime. It seemed as if weren’t blood-related. I’d say friends with benefits. That was weird though, but that was what it seemed like. Darlington later confessed he wanted to date Annabel but he soon found out she was a ‘player’ and he didn’t like her ‘Aba’ brought up kind of attitude, too. I knew Darlington told lies sometimes, so I couldn’t tell if he was being sincere, or if it was part of his lies. That boy can tell lie for Africa. I fear who no fear Darlington.

So, Darlington obliged to help me find out if I was pregnant or not. He asked for money, I gave him #500 naira. He went to a nearby chemist and returned.
He came back with what he called a pregnancy test. I haven’t heard of it before. I didn’t even know such a thing existed. It’s like litmus paper. He then taught me how it’s been used. According to him, I’d need to pee and dip the paper inside my pee, if it turned out with a double stripe, it meant positive but if the outcome was just a single strip, then it meant I wasn’t pregnant. Darlington said it’s better used in the morning, which was according to the Chemist. He said it was in the morning when hCG levels are most concentrated in the urine.

Did I even know what hCG level was? Damn! I was just scared. Something kept telling me I was pregnant, considering the marathon sex with Meska that early morning. And realizing Meska and I wasn’t in good terms worsened my fear.

So, one morning, I summoned the courage to do the test. I told Darlington I was going to check it that morning. So he was in my room when I went inside the bathroom with a container. My heart thudded against my ribs. I was scared of the unknown. What if it eventually turns out double? What next? What would grandma say? My mom, Dad, and siblings? The neighbors? And my admission, too? I was startled by my thoughts. It’s all your fault, when you were smooching with him, you didn’t realize that for every action, there are equal and opposite reactions, the thought that came judging me.

When I did the sign of the cross, my eyes were closed for no reason. I pulled my undies, bent down, and peed on a container. I opened my eyes and brought out the pregnancy test that looked like paper. I read and re-read the instructions and precautions on its body.

“Zee,” Darlington called from my room.
“Yes, I’m coming.”
“Why is it taking you time?”

Silence.

“I hope you know how to use it?”

Silence.

“Zeeee.. You’re not saying anything?” He finally opened the door and met me crying.

“What is it?” He took the pregnancy test from my hand and glanced at it. There were two red lines. I was on the mission to multiply and fill the earth.
Darlington hissed and shook his head, disappointed.
“Zee, why? You should have done better? Why allow that boy to drill you without protection?” He added to my discomfort.
“Ssshhh..” I admonished him to keep shut amidst tears that flooded my cheeks and eyes.

Grandma was around, and I didn’t want her to find out. “Then, stop crying, too. Isn’t she going to ask why you’re crying?” I was mute. I didn’t know what to say or answer. “Zee, there’s always a way out,” he said, leading me out from the bathroom to my room. “What way? Abortion, isn’t that what you think?” I said inaudibly. He didn’t say anything. He simply sat at the edge of my bed.

“You know abortion is a big sin and what if I die in the process?”
“Can you just stop? Nobody is going to die. This is not one of those books you read,” he paused.
“What do you mean?”
“I meant what I said. Besides, there’s nothing like big sin and small sin. All sins are equal before God.

I stared Surprisingly at him. I knew we were taught in Catholic Church that there is small and big sin and what he wanted me to do was categorized as a big sin. Darlington and I weren’t of the same denomination though. His father was one of the senior pastors of one Pentecostal church. Darlington was just the opposite of his father. He was far from being a pastor’s son. He was simply a very good bad boy. His look can be deceitful.

“Yes. There is nothing like big sin you just have to do this and save yourself before anyone else finds out. You know your father would be disappointed.”
Darlington was saying all manner of things and I felt the devil was just speaking through him. He must have done something similar too. Not like I was planning to keep the pregnancy but I was equally considering if I peradventure I passed out in the process.

I was young and I didn’t know what it feels like to get rid of pregnancy. I have only read in books and stories how strange and sharp objects are being inserted into a woman’s genitalia, and the whole process hurts them too. While some died in the process and a few others had lost their wombs during the process. And above all, it was considered a big sin before God. Soiling one’s hand with blood. That though dreaded me too. So, I’d have to kill an innocent baby?

Then, Darlington went on to narrate there were modern ways of getting rid of it. Hence, mine was still tender, just weeks of pregnancy. He said there won’t be any form of complication. He said I’d only need to take some drugs and get the thing flushed away. Dude said it like it was so easy. I haven’t done it before and his words were gradually sinking in my heart.

For a few minutes, I simply sat there. I couldn’t feel anything and my brain didn’t seem to work. It was as if everything was behind a thick pane of glass. My eyes were wide and I couldn’t focus them. I couldn’t think. I didn’t know what to do.

“Zee, whenever you’re ready, tell me. I’ll buy the drugs. Act fast oo..before grandma finds out.” He headed towards the door and when he opened it, he was shocked. Grandma was standing behind the door and it was obvious she had been there for a while. Damn! I was frozen. I felt my heart beating faster than usual. Darlington stood there like a pole. He was dumbfounded.

To be continued….

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