[STORY] MOTHER-IN-LAW (Episode 20)

Episode 20.

The man made effort to rest on his one good leg, raising his frame like an orator about to address the Greek parliament in old times, he began, “You see, madam, the loss in death has for ages been misconstrued. Those who suffer the real loss in death are not the living. Though the living cry the loudest, it is the dead who suffer the real loss. They are the ones who can’t taste good wine ever again or wear new clothe fashion. They are the ones who can’t spend time with their wives, husbands or loved ones. They see us giggle and laugh, but they sit quiet in loneliness. They see us use modern technology, but they only wonder what the use is like to us…” he paused and searched Janet’s eyes. Janet clearly could not make out where he was headed with his lecture about the loss of the dead. He saw that, and so made his last point which drove home his meaning. “…the dead would be glad for anything you do to let them know they are remembered. I have often heard them wailing by night over the torture of their loneliness, particularly the lost souls amongst them.”

“So your point is that my father in-law will be glad to return what he took?” Janet asked with an edge of impatience to her voice. “Yes, he will be glad to. After all, he has finally got someone’s attention.” “I like this!” Janet echoed, completely surprised she said that.

For the next twenty minutes she sat under that mango tree and waited for the man to clean the grave and drop the perfumed flowers so she could read her dead father in-law the poem which would make him glad. A few times she tried Emmanuel’s phone number but he did not pick up. She was worried about his attitude, but hoped all that would change for the better by the time she persuaded her father in-law to return what he supposedly took.

**** Emmanuel and his Friend ****

“I hate to admit it. I am afraid to tell anyone this, but the truth is, right now, I can’t afford an erection or even have any feelings in my male organ,” Emmanuel said to his friend, Samson. Samson shifted uncertainly in his chair wondering if he heard Emmanuel well. “How…how did you come to this? How… I mean what happened, Emma?” Samson asked, almost choking on his words. “It is my wife! I suspect my wife. It all began on our wedding night. While we made love…our first love since we knew each other, something left my body. Ever since then, I have not felt the same. The height of it now is that my male organ is as good as dead. I know there is something down there only because I have this weird occasional jolts down there as if my male organ was battling to come back to life…” Emmanuel paused and wiped at a bead of tear in the corners of his left eye. Samson drew closer to him and tapped gently on his right thigh. “It is okay, Emma. All hope is not lost. The same gods who afflicted a child with itches, also gave him fingernails to scratch them… Tell me why you think your wife is responsible for the crash of your male organ?”

“I think she is jinxed. I believe she has a spiritual husband. Come to think of it, why else would I lose my pride as man when I began to have formal relations with her as my wife? Why didn’t I lose my strength before I had sex with her? Why didn’t I have this experience those days I slept with other girls? Whatever happened to my male organ is connected to my wife, I am certain of it!” “Phew!! Spiritual husbands can be stubborn and jealous; they are one problem you don’t want to have. If indeed, a spiritual husband is responsible for what happened to you, there is a way to find out.” “How? Tell me please,” Emmanuel asked, shifting to the edge of his seat. “You have to give your attention to another woman…” “What! I can’t do that! I don’t want to go back to my sins!” “Wait! Wait, Emmanuel! I am not saying you should embrace infidelity… This is my meaning, spiritual husbands are proud and jealous evil spirits. If you make them think they have won, they will leave you alone. The way out is to use their pride against them. You have to give your wife some distance and turn your attention to another woman. If your male strength returns, then your wife is your problem…”

“And if it doesn’t?” “Then something else took your male strength.” Emmanuel stood up and paced about the living room, wondering how he could do what Samson had suggested. He returned to his seat and asked, “How do I find a woman that will not expose me to the world?” “I will take care of that for you. I have a lady friend whose mere appearance will cause your male organ to riot back to life. That is if a spiritual husband is responsible for what happened to you. You must treat this lady like you treat your wife. The idea is to fool the spiritual husband into thinking you have left your wife for him.” “Wait, Sammy, how did you learn all this?” “My grandmother served water spirits. While growing up I saw unbelievable things. I saw barren women, get pregnant after they pacified their spiritual husbands. I saw men regain their libido when they appeased their spiritual wives or warded off their wives’ spiritual husbands. The spiritual world is as real as this one, or maybe even much more real.”

To be continued…..

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