ANE Stories
[STORY] OGA LANDLORD (Episode 64)
Episode 64.
Me: em commit suicide?
Ugochukwu: shame don send am to early grave, bah?
Jack: no oh.. he defected to another party.
Me: na that one dey bother you, na very good news.
Ugochukwu: na my prayer sef, if em go another party and no be the party dey conquer this state, nothing come out.
Jack: if you say so.
Me: I say so, chillax.. enjoy our victory.
Ugochukwu: guy, stand up make we dey go governor house.
Me: I no well.
Ugochukwu: I go just blow you, my fiend stand up joor!!
Ugochukwu dragged me down from the hospital bed and forced me inside the bathroom, I took my bath and we came out of the hospital together.
Immediately we came out of the hospital, Ugochukwu was walking very fast ahead of us behaving like mad person.
Ugochukwu: *shouting* I tell my papa say I go stand before president and Kings, you don see am.. I dey go shake hand with a whole governor.
Me: you dey mad oh! I go just throw you chain.
He didn’t stop shouting till he got into the car and ignited the engine, he didn’t even allow us to join him in the parking lot when he set the car in motion.
Ugochukwu: you no wan follow go see governor, huh?
Me: no be you them invite na.
Jack: sir, you are funny oh.
Me: isn’t funny, make we no get accident because of this madness oh.
Since he didn’t know the direction to Governor’s residence in GRA, he came down and Jack took the front wheel while our two sat at the back.
We were driving around the city for over an hour and my stomach was indicating red light, the heavy traffick made the whole thing tiring.
When we got to the fly-over that had a curve to GRA.
Me: abeg, Jack… fine any eatery stop biko, I need food.
Ugochukwu: I tell you to buy bible, man shall not live by bread alone. Calm down, we don reach governor house.
Me: calm which down? which governor place? see Jack abeg just park one side my eat.
Ugochukwu: you no wan eat breakfast with the governor?
Me: what if I no make am, I come die. na my ghost go come do the breakfast with the governor?
Ugochukwu: that one no be issue.
Me: ehem.. Jack, you are a good man.
He drove into the eatery’s parking lot and stopped the car.
Me: you no wan chop?
Ugochukwu: yes *he hiss*
I came down and went inside the eatery and ordered for what to eat, the food cost but em no get taste but it is rich. Las las Ugochukwu still join us dey eat like hungry lion, after we are done.
We went back to the car and we drove out of the eatery, we headed to the governor residence in GRA. fine houses full there I swear, and the street is quiet.
Na the place I go stay in the future.
We were let inside the governor’s residence without much security protocols due to Jack, a fine maid ushered us to the executive sitting-room while she went up to inform the governor of our presence.
We sat in the sofa to await him and I knew money isn’t just ordinary paper.
Ugochukwu: this babe fine oh?
Me: *I look around* which babe?
Ugochukwu: that picture.
I looked to were he was pointing and saw a very beautiful girl with Madam Stella in the framed picture, the babe fine die.
We heard the governor’s voice as he came down from the staircase with his agbada, securities just dey escort for inside house too? na wa oh!
Me: your excellency *I get up*
Ugochukwu: my governor sir *I eye him*
Governor: aahh! my boy, you are a great man *he shake me*
And I felt like I was shaking my salvation, he also shaked hands with Ugochukwu who later wore hand glove to prevent bad lucks. Na em sabi, we sat down and we were served with expensive wine. Big man sweet oh! poor man no know.
Governor: how were you able to do it? how you take win Okoye.
Me: is God oh, and with the help of my friend here.
Ugochukwu: yes sir *them ask you?*
Governor: can you also help me? you know the cartel am against are very strong. You get anything you want me to do?
Me: yes, sir.. I have a plan. If you will support me.
Governor: why not, you get my whole support. Just call my wife if you need anything.
We shook hands and he left, then they took care of us with lots of food. Ugochukwu eat sotay em belle dey like attachment, I no eat oh. Am not a glutton *winks*
After some hours in the governor’s mansion we came out like pregnant women.
Ugochukwu: I need picture to book this visit for history, em nodey easy to feast for mansion *he bring out his phone*
Me: guy, no snap me oh!
The guy is deaf he still went ahead and snapped me, Ugochukwu now mounted the wheel and we drove out of the governor’s mansion without Jack. I go miss Jack my man manny, we drove to our nice destination.
After driving the whole night we ended up in a shrine in another State, we came down and headed to a hut in a thick bush.
We got into the hut and met a native doctor.
Ugochukwu: I greet, baba.
Baba: is that not Ugo?
Me: good evening sir.
Baba: umh.. my son, you are both welcome.
Ugochukwu: na my friend wey I tell you say I go bring for fortification.
Baba: follow me.
We left the hut and went to another hut, this one is well decorated to be a shrine. There was a big drum boiling and a fire is set under it.
Baba: take and chew.
I took the strange leaves from him and chewed, I been wan pour am for the Baba face and slap him for giving me rubbish to chew.
He later gave me one horrible looking something to drink, I nearly vomit if no be the man ugly face wey warn me not to try it.
I think say it is over until when the man asked me to naked before them, chaaii.. Ugochukwu go see my family before my wife.
I obeyed oh! The man went and opened the boiling drum wey fire dey under.
Baba: step forward.
Me: to the bench *he nod*
Baba: climb the bench *the bench dey before the drum, I did oh* take.
I took what he gave me, and placed in my mouth.
Baba: enter the drum.
Me: *I remove the palm from my mouth* enter where?
Baba: the drum.
Me: is hot oh!
Ugochukwu: them wan cook you.
Me: I no be beans or rice.. Or food, I no need cooking, I don already done.
Baba: you are stubborn.
The native doctor blew something to me and I no get myself, I no know wetin happen again.
Till when I see myself coming out of the drum.
Baba: hahaha *laughing* no man wey woman born fit kill you again.
Me: *I beam* o deshi *I start shaking*
Ugochukwu: baba you no go test am.
Baba: I go test am.
The short slim old man go carry gun to shoot em papa or me? I no know who em carry gun for until em point me..
Me: wait… wait… Oh! no shoot oh, na me dey do the o deshi, I no need testing biko.
Ugochukwu: guy, position.. em no go enter you.
To Be Continued….
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