[STORY] IMPERSONATION (Episode 01)

Episode 01.

Kate is beautiful but not as “eye popping” as most men would like.

Kate is not the first girl that’ll catch your eyes when you walk into a room filled with girls, but she is a kind that when you eventually get to know, she makes the phrase “Never judge a book by its cover” ministers directly unto your soul.

Kate and I have been friends for a very long time now.

We’d first met in CDS, seven years ago (during our youth service).

Over the years, I’ve gotten to know Kate, close-up. This is why I can say for certain, that Kate is everything any sane man out there have been praying for, in a wife.

Kate is loveable, hardworking, very intelligent, and smart. Her sense of humor is surreal.

Kate’s ideas of “family”, is incredible too.

Kate lightens up whatever room she finds herself in (whenever she miraculously finds herself in one, anyways).

With a girl that possesses all these fine qualities, one would wonder why at thirty four, Kate is not in a relationship, talk more of being in a serious one.

“Men are scum, Moshood. They are very indecisive. They never appreciate whatever you do for them, no matter how much you go out of your way to do these things. On top of that, they still make you feel like you aren’t doing enough. They make you feel like you don’t know how to keep a man. Some of them even compare you with their exes. And I am usually like, if your ex was so great, why then did you leave her na…? Kate asked, rolling her eyes.

Then she continued…

“…They can be very insecure too, acting as though someone is in competition with them. Even when they’ll always sing to whoever cares to listen, that they don’t want a liability for a partner, guy, not a lot of them can truly stand a successful woman. You choose to pay your own bills without bothering them, they think you are too independent and won’t be submissive in marriage. Okay, you then decide to ask them for everything and before long, they begin to see you as overly demanding. Mehn! I’m tired of that gender that betrayed Jesus o. They honestly don’t know what they want. I’ve had more than enough bad experiences for two lifetimes, Moshood. Me I cannot come and go and kill myself.” Kate told me one day, during one of our discussions.

Even though I’d patiently waited for Kate to finish making her points so I could counter them with a couple of my own, I couldn’t help but agree with some of the points she’d raised.

I couldn’t truly understand why any sane man wouldn’t want to hold on to Kate.

I know I would, if I could.

On the bright side, Kate channeled all her energy into making something great out of her life.

Her two successful businesses were evident to this.

Kate was proudly and happily living the good life until pressure from family began to give her a cause for a rethink. A cause to reconsider her stands about wanting to be single for the rest of her life.

“Moshood, I swear, the plan na to find one fine bobo, knack am well well until him give me belle. And once I confirm say the belle don enter, na to find my way o. Single mother life don start be that. I honestly don’t have power for men wahala, guy”. Kate again, had once told me.

The pressure from Kate’s family first started, when her mother would usually call randomly on Saturdays, to inform Kate that she was currently on her way to attend a wedding.

This always opens a chapter to prayer points.

One that always emphasizes Kate’s wedding being the next, “in the mighty name of Jesus”.

It soon graduated into “Kate, do you remember Ada?…Ada naaw…That small girl you used to carry to school that year…Yes, the same one that always cries whenever her mother asks her to go inside and wear pant…Yes, that’s the same one. Ada’s wedding is this Saturday o. Ha! Her mother told me this evening, in church. Hmm! The God that did it for her mother will definitely hear a cry of a mother over her daughter ooo. The God I serve shall definitely hear my cry over my daughter and change your marital status soon…”

When it seemed as though Kate was not fazed by these words, her mother then decided that it was time to stop dancing around the bush.

It was time to hit the nail exactly on the head.

This was how the “direct shots” began.

“Kate my daughter, what exactly is happening? You are yet to bring a man home, is there something you are not telling us?”

Kate is tired of explaining to her parents that a husband is not something you just go into the market and come back home with.

She is tired of telling them that with time, God will locate her with her own man.

She doesn’t even know how to tell them that after a lot of considerations from previous failed relationships, she doesn’t think marriage is for her.

It was as a result of all “these”, that Kate had resolved to stealing a page from a very old book of tricks.

This is why I have been tasked to play the role of Kate’s fiancé, to her parents.

To be continued…