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Episode 53.

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I waka come out for road look East see Agip wey no even far, I come go waste fifty naira for Jihadist regime. Mehnn.. I say my use my legs reach there then take bus go Pepperoni.

I just dey bounce for the street side-walk dey reason life, the dual tarred road make sense I swear, street lights for both sides.
A lady was walking towards me with short gown that I will nick-name display all my curves for me abeg, I bet say her yansh godey bounce up and down.

One niggar appeared from nowhere with short and one fine t-shirt.

Niggar: babe, abeg wait, guy signal that babe.

Me sef behave like say I no know say na me the guy dey talk to, the babe waka pass my side while the guy added speed to his pace.

I no wan be look back but you know say these eyes wey we get sabi do akproko ehnn.. I turned and confirmed my hypothesis which state that the softness of the fabric relating to the vector of the softness of the both big bums and it equivalent to the wide hips holding the two split melons in every step, no reason am I no be physician.

Niggar: I been tell you say make you call that babe.

Me: no vex, I forget. Go meet her na..

He ran and grabbed her by the hand, all these entitled boys to audience.

Niggar: babe, I dey follow you talk na.

Lady: will you get your filthy hands off from me.

The next thing I hear na gbosaa the girl hand don land for my g face, I no know when I start to giggle like small demon.

Niggar: you get mind slap me?

Lady: touch me again.

Naso I hear another gbosaa and I come hear somebody scream like those ladies wey dey them deliver for church, the babe don dey para dey talk plenty.

I quicken my footsteps because police station dey along that road, I dey avoid police pass armed robbers for this life.
Robbers go only thief w€tin dey your body but police get license to thief the one wey dey your body and the one wey dey house and the bank own join.

I never dey reach junction when my phone ring, I pulled out the phone the caller na my brother come dey wonder when him return.
I picked the call…


Victory: oh boy! Where you dey na?

Me: you no even sabi good afternoon sef, I dey Agip dey go house.

Victory: I dey yard na where you keep key, I don tire to wait for you?

Me: key dey with me no vex, I go enter bus now now.

I crossed the busy road thank God say one road safety man dey there because PH drivers are used to asphalt driving, I waved one bus come enter front with one fine babe.

The girl don plug earpiece for her two ears dey jam to one song like that while she dey chat with her bobo, I peep the chat come dey see wonders.

Her: you know say you be my boyfriend best friend, I can’t.

Unknown: why can’t you? I will give you five thousand naira and what you told me that time that you need, he won’t know about it.

The girl come like observe if somebody dey look, me as a sharp guy I commot eyes.
Naso she hide her chat reply the niggar come dey smile upadan, I know say hook-up don click.

All these virginia people if them wan do you something them no go even look your face, and her boyfriend dey house dey form Romeo while she dey go play away with his friend.

I jejely mind my business reach house see my brother for door dey wait for me.

Me: see goodies, guy, you come in peace I swear.

Victory: mommy say make you come house since ona never resume.

Me: that one no be wahala, tomorrow I go travel go Ahoada.

We went inside with all the goodies he came with, we ate what he bought and then checked the time to see if Manchester United have started their match because we get late kick off that day.

We enter bet9ja hall along the onlu tarred road wey dey Nkpor, make ona no vex Nkpor people.
While we were walking an old woman stood before a gutter with walking stick looking like somebody who can’t jump the gutter.

I come dey wonder if she no get pikin to help her get w€tin she wan collect along the road.

Old woman: nwa’m!

I looked at her and looked around if she dey talk to me, she used one of her hand to relate that it was me she is calling.

Me: good evening, mama.

Old woman: my pikin help me go buy diary.

She gave me one hundred naira and I left there to buy it for her, my brother went ahead while I purchased the diary and returned not to see the old woman there again.

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Luckily there was a man sitting at the frontage of the house the old woman stood earlier, I walked to the man.

Me: good evening, sir. An old woman sent me to buy this diary for her, I don’t if she lives here.

Man: no old woman live in this area.

Me: sir, is front of this place the old woman stood.

Man: ask those shop people, I no see any old woman.

I left him and asked those selling along that road and no one seem to know what I was talking about.
I had to take the diary with me to watch the match, if I return she go don come out for road.

I looked at the pink diary and a feeling of deja vu overwhelm me.

To Be Continued….. . . .

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