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Episode 96.

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Ugochukwu: bush man! em nodey curse you.
Me: so, na wetin em dey do?
Ugochukuw: em dey use grammatical bruhaha explain your person.
Me: which one be bruhahaha, again na?

Ugochukwu: I don forget say I dey talk with average Nigeria man wey do copy and paste for WAEC.
Me: you sabi English reach me?
Ugochukwu: *laughing* hahaha, everybody know say I sabi English pass you.
Me: oya tell me wetin be Honorificabilit
Ugochukwu: why you dey speak in tongues na?
Me: talk say you no know am, if I speak grammar for you this motor go run enter trailer.
Ugochukwu: abeg no argue again, our two sabi English. Guy, you never finish wetin you been dey yan me.
Me: wetin be that?
Ugochukwu: about your parents, how your village people ’caused their death.

I sighed bitterly and melancholy welled down on me as I reminisced, slowly I went into memory lanes.
Me: before my mama call that day, she don been tell me say the other family uncle don go jack the juju put inside the ancestral family hall without acknowledging the eldest son of the family, the man don go report them to the chief of the Village and elders before his death, I returned from school one semester break like that. My papa been dey eat with us when his phone rang, he excused himself and left the dinning table.

My dad’s voice: we no go allow that kind thing for our family, not in my time…. Ehnn.. I don warn them oh…. wicked people … No…. We go do the case till they remove that juju from there … there is no room for darkness in our family… the burial go be tomorrow…. they are fine oh! my brother… how your own too?
Ugochukwu: the matter serious oh, so wetin the town people judge?
Me: those guys chop bribe, as my papa see say the matter nodey favour am em do something.
Ugochukwu: wetin em do?
Me: as if he know say something go happen, my papa introduce me to all his business partners, the yards, to his bank manager and gave me access to all his accounts, I come dey wonder why. I needed to ask him why, I did sha… when two of us entered the car to return home from his lawyer’s place.
Me: daddy, why you dey show me all these things?
My dad: this boy, act like old man na. You go soon round up your ND.
Me: I never old na, I be still young fresh boy.
My dad: which girl dey deceive you for school?
Me: no girl oh, am still your small boy.
My dad: *laughing* hahaha, when the time comes. Behave weak and act strong, my boy.
Me: sure sir!
Ugochukwu: this your story get as em be oh!
Me: my papa no gree, even when the Village people ruled against them. My papa threatened to go to the village and removed it personally with some pastors.
Ugochukwu: em do am.
Me: *I shake my head* em no do am, I just came back from lecture after my HND class, my phone rang.
Me: hello, Victor is on the line.
Caller’s voice: Victor, where you dey?
Me: excuse me, who be this?
Caller’s voice: come UPTH, your parents just got accident.
Me: abeg, na lie no talk that thing.
Ugochukwu: them get accident?
Me: yes, on their way to village.
Ugochukwu: eyaa..
Me: wetin be eyaa?
Ugochukwu: so wetin happen afterwards?
Me: them die, my uncles no even wait to bury my parents before they start to campaign for the property to be shared. I no get any choice but to trick them with my papa lawyer.
Me: sir, good evening.
My dad’s lawyer: Victor, how you dey?
Me: I dey okay.
My dad’s lawyer: this one you remember me today.
Me: sir, I wan discuss serious matter with you.
My dad’s lawyer: go on, I dey listen.
Me: sir abeg, help me tell my uncles say my papa order say make them read em will after em burial. Also hint them say them get some shares from his properties.
My dad’s lawyer: your papa will everything give you.
Me: I know, just tell them like that. I want make them bury my papa.
Ugochukwu: *laughing* hahaha, no be today you start this your life oh!
Me: the thing work like magic, if you see the speed them take do my papa and mama burial ehnn.. By then I don already sell my papa house for City and also moved my mama supermarket, transfer all the money from my papa account.
Ugochukwu: so, wetin come happen las las?
Me: I give them my papa ATM cards.
Ugochukwu: you no mean am.
Me: I mean am, no shi shi dey inside. I disappeared afterwards, them no know my whereabout for years, guy you don see why I hate those people.
Ugochukwu: you need to leave the matter, let bygones by bygone.
Me: we don reach.

I saw some naked children running out of their mud houses waiting along the dirt road that led to the village town hall. immediately we moved pass them they pursued us. I saw them with the side mirrors, by that time Anderson start em noise again.
Anderson: naked children, make ona no forget to tell your papa to vote for Honourable talk and do oh!
My phone rang and I looked at screen to see the caller I.D, it was Aisha. This witch again!

To Be Continued…. . . .

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