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Hidden Dream

Episode 20.

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Holding her now small body in my arms I let the warm tears run my face. I couldn’t help it, seeing my Angela so thin and pale made me feel so vulnerable.

She sobbed softly in my arms holding me like she was afraid if she let go I would disappear.
After some minutes of having her in my embrace I pulled back and looked at her deep sad eyes. Her beauty was still evident even with the loss of weight.

She tried to smile but the curve of her mouth wasn’t reaching beyond her cheekbone.
” when did this happen?” I finally found my voice. It was the first thing that came out of me.
” am sorry Jay, I didn’t want to put you through so much pain. I wanted you to be happy and achieve your dreams. I didn’t want to have you all worried about me and I asked your father to keep it a secret.” She cried her voice so weak.

” I know he told me and I was very sad and upset when I heard the news. You two had no right to keep this from me. You should have trusted me more My love, I told you to keep me informed about everything in your life. How can you just shut me off like that? You have no idea how much I waited for your call or even a text. ” I let it out. I couldn’t get upset with her in her condition , I just went soft upon seeing her. .
” am sorry, I shut you off but am happy you are here now I can say my good bye. Am sure you and our baby will have a long and wonderful life together” she sniffed..
” what? Where are you going and what do you mean our baby?” I questioned, surprised as I sat on the bed close to her.
” your father has not told you?” She looked outside where my father and her sister in law stood.
” No… He he only told me about your heart condition. What’s going on love?”
She leaned her back to the bed and looked at me. I held her soft hand rubbing it gently
” tell me now please” I begged
She went on telling me how she found out she was pregnant for me and how the Doctor diagnosed her with some heart cancer. What she had to go through all alone to ensure she gave birth to our baby girl who she named Blessings.

I was numb for a moment my eyes filled with tears partly for joy I was a father and mostly for the news that she had only some limited time to live. She struggled to explain her condition to me and I just couldn’t take it anymore…
” you are not dying Angela. You cannot die on me like that. No, no way. Am here now” I shifted closer to her as if my closeness would cure her.
” you can not give up on us my love, don’t say that again cause am not taking this from you anymore. Please tell me you will fight hard to live please promise me. You made me promise to come back and here I am love. I came back for you please don’t abandon me. I don’t know anything about kids and I don’t think I will manage to raise our baby without you. Come on Angela, tell me you will not die on me ” I cried pleading my face wet with tears.
she was crying too and she shook her head all the way as I pleaded with her. ” calm down my love,” she held my wet face. ” you have to be strong for all of us.”

” Look at me, Jared” she shook my head to make my teary eyes look at her.
” the doctors said I don’t have enough time. You have to let me go my love, let me go please and be strong, you are stronger than you think. Just look at how far you have come. You are the strongest and most courageous man I know and I know you will make it with out me.” She cried her face shaking.
“I can’t Angela. I don’t care what the Doctors say am going to take you out of here” I stood up.
” come on, we can find a specialist doctor any where in the World. You will see, you will be fine and strong again” I smiled teary.

She wiped her tears? Smiling at me. ” you are special Jared Zimba, I really wish I had more time to live by your side.”
” and you will Love, trust me. You will.” I added.
I walked around panicking . She had lost all hope of living I could see her so weak as she lay down the bed. She had told me the Doctors told her the cancer had spread almost covering her entire heart. She said it was too late to even think of alternatives. My heart refused to accept that.
I went to see the Doctors later that day leaving her sleeping. I let her so that she could take some rest. I saw how tired she looked.
” Am sorry, what she told you is correct. There’s nothing anyone can do to save her life now. Am even surprised she has reached this far she is so strong” the Doctor told me.
” sign some papers so that I fly her out of the country. Am sure I can find some doctors to help her outside this country”

The Doctor shook his head… ” I understand your pain, Mr Zimba. But it’s too late. Shes too weak to move any long distance. If there was a slight chance she would survive this, believe me I could have told you already. I grew fond of the young lady. She talked about you and how she loved you. She always mentioned your name. I have seen how much she has suffered but still holding on. I can’t help her anymore and no one else can. All we have to do for now is hope for God’ s intervention. Am sorry” he patted my back and left me stoned.

I ran outside the hospital to the back and cried out like a baby. I was lost of thoughts and words.
” No she can’t die, please God , I know am not so much of a prayer person but hear me and save her life. I need her alive, I can’t do this please help me here.I will do anything” I cried out.
After some minutes of crying myself out, I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to look at who touched me, just to find my father’s hand on me.
” am so sorry Jared, you have to be strong for your daughter. I can take you to her now, she’s outside with Angela’ s brother” he informed me.
” thank you dad, it’s just that it’s so painful seeing her so weak. She’s dying dad and I can’t do anything about it. Why me? ” I shouted in tears.
” what did I do? How can God bless me with so much money and now fame but take away the only person I have ever loved? How am I going to live without her, no dad, it’s not fair. It’s not fair” I sobbed as he pulled me in a hug and I cried out on him.
” it’s okay sonny, you have to be strong my son, Angela needs you now more than ever and you can’t keep on like this. Try to stay strong and give her hope. If you love her you have to fight to stay strong together. Come on now” he rubbed my back.

I stood straight sniffing and wiping my face. He was right I couldn’t keep crying in front of Angela.
I followed him outside and saw my baby girl in a flayed pink dress and some pink ribbons in her hair. She was now 2 years and some months and she looked more like he mother.
I held her close and kissed her.
” daddy!” She called me and I smiled widely. “Angela always showed her your pictures and told her about you everyday. She knows who you are” Angela’s brother spoke up looking at us.
I felt tears coming from my eyes and I quickly rubbed them off walking around as I talked to Blessings. She was so adorable her smile exactly like that of her mother.
I spent time with baby Blessings until she left with Angela’s brother. I had completely refused to go home.
I wanted to stay by her side and never leave.i tried to contact some people to ask for any expect Doctors who could help with her condition and the Doctor I was referred to from India asked for some medical details of which I sent through email.

Now I was to wait for him to get back to me so I went to sit in Angela’ s ward watching her sleep.
She woke up with a sigh. ” hey!” I smiled at her tired face. Even after sleeping for a long time she still looked tired.
” hey my dancer! You are so handsome you know that?” She let a weak laugh.
” and you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known” I chuckled kissing her hand.
” how are you feeling?” I asked her
” am tired Jay, I feel so tired my heart is failing me. ” she winced painfully.
” it’s okay my love, I called some Doctor from India. He will get back to me after studying your case. There’s hope for us my love.” I tried so hard to smile

She however didn’t answer. She ignored my statement and instead smiled…” Tell me about the competition and everything that went on out there” she whispered
” sure?”
” Yeah, I want to hear it all Jay, every detail” she added.
“Okay I will tell you” I said moving into bed with her after throwing my shores down. I moved behind her back and made her lean on my chest as I wrapped my hands around her.
” do you feel okay with this?” I asked her when I was settled.
” never felt better!” She smiled closing her weak eyes.
I went on telling her all the details of my stay in Paris. By the time I was done it was mid night and she had dozed off.

I slowly moved her to lay down on the pillow and she held my hand. ” don’t leave please” she whispered.
” Okay” , I nodded my head and pulled up the blankets wrapping my hands around her as she moved her warm body closer to me. She kissed my lips and I held on kissing her gently.
” I love you” I whispered in her face, my own close to her, I could breath in the warm air from her nostrils.
” I love you more. Don’t leave my side ” she murmured struggling to keep her eyes open.
” am not going anywhere my love. Am here” I whispered back but she was fast asleep. I doubted she even heard me.
I struggled not to cry besides her. Feeling her soft movements as she breathed slowly.
” I wish my heart can be divided to give her part of myself” I thought to myself.

To Be Continued….. . . .

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